for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
