I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize