Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
