My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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