That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
