it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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