when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
