Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
