And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
