Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
