No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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