Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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