At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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