I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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