dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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