If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize