The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
