Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
