is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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