I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
