it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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