He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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