i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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