I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
