you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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