used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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