You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize