a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
