someone owes me an orgasm
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
