i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
