He asked to "fluff my boner.."
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
