physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
