i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
