Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
