I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
