My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
