every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
