you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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