I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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