What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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