So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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