4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
