So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
