I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
