It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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