No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
