david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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