I cockslap morals
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
