Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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