Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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