see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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