we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize