its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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