Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
