If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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