And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
