Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Randomize