Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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