I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Still dying that you shit outside
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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