She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
