Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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